This is a typical story:
I was an accident and my parents ignored me all my life and desperate for attention, I slept with boys who gave me drugs. When I turned 16, things changed as there was a death in the family. Mum a year later got a new boyfriend and within 2 months he’d tried to get into bed with me. I left.
I lived on friends couches for a few weeks before I met Jeff. He was nearly 10 years older and at first I didn’t like him, but with I eventually agreed to go out with him. And quite typically, he was kind, attentive and friendly and I soon fell for him. I keep thinking if I just stopped and looked I would’ve seen the signs and could have ran away before it got to the point of being too scared to even leave the house. But of course, hind sight is a wonderful thing and all I saw was a good looking, sweet and loving man whom I was lucky to be dating.
A few weeks later I moved in with Jeff. Into his spare room. He bought me clothes. He introduced me to new foods and things looked like they’d picked up. Yes, soon we had sex and he liked to have it a little rougher. I’d got a job as a waitress. Gradually, not only did he tell me what to wear, but if we went out socially, he’d tell me where to sit and if I talked to another man, even casually, he’d be obvioulsly angry. I couldn’t read the signs.
Things moved pretty fast, I remember him telling me he loved me after a few weeks, he told me how wonderful and amazing I was. He used to pick me up from work in his car and drive me anywhere I wanted. If I called he’d always answer like he was so happy to talk to me. I don’t know exactly when it started going wrong, but it was soon into the relationship. He’d tell me that he didn’t like me talking to other men and ‘that’s just how he is’, he’d leer at other women in front of me and tell me how attractive they were and how women would ask him out all the time, but if I got upset once we got home he’d shout at me and tell me I had to deal with it. Once I asked how he’d feel if the tables were turned and he said that if I ever did it to him, he’d leave me.
Things progressed, his behaviour got more and more controlling and jealous, he wouldn’t let me out the house unless he knew about it. If I did leave he’d call me constantly asking me when I’d get home. I was allowed to wear clothes he didn’t like, even when I wore a t-shirt and jeans he’s tell me I looked tarty. I wanted a better job but he wanted me to work with him. top me getting any job unless it was with him, I wasn’t allowed to talk to any man or even if I looked at one he’d scream at me until I walked with my head down. I wasn’t allowed to see my family or friends without constant questions so in the end, I thought why bother? I couldn’t even order food because he didn’t trust me with the delivery man.
We had been together a year when it happened, I was late getting home because the taxi was late, and I knew as soon as he told me to come outside and into his car there’d be trouble. As soon as I got in, he grabbed me by the neck and screamed at me for being late, he then locked the car and drove like a lunatic until we reached a first where he grabbing me and choked me until I passed out. I woke to him having sex with me. I left but he pestered me. Within a week I was back with him.
This went on for years, he didn’t usually have to hit me, he had enough control over me already, by the threats. if I was talking all he had to do was give me a look and I knew I had to shut up. I was constantly called a slut and worthless. He’d put me over his knew and hit me often with a belt. I believed him when he told me if I just behaved, he wouldn’t have to do this. He never hit me too hard.He’d tie me to the bed if I didn’t feel like sex and force himself on me. Once the screams had the police on the doorbell as he was choking me, I remember not being able to breathe and thinking I might die, but as soon as the doorbell rang, he stopped and suddenly looked calm and under control and of course I didn’t tell the police. By then I had left my job, if he wanted sex I had to have sex then and there. Once he threatened to have me gang-raped. He slapped me on the face but was so careful not to mark my face, and to everyone who knew him, he was the kindest, gentlest man, but it was how he’d tell me I could dress how I please, and then tell me how tarty and horrible I looked and I wasn’t to dress like this anymore. As I got more confused, angry, hurt and emotionally exhausted, I was scared for my life and believed him when he told me he’d kill me if I ever left. He told me when I could go to the toilet. I wasn’t allowed to use a phone. We had lots of abusive sex, he’d suspend me , he tie me up or even whip me from time to time.
Several times, he invited friends over and he’d tell me what to wear and I’d serve drinks but always kept my gaze on him so I couldn’t be accused of flirting with any of his friends. One day one of his friends came round with a girl he fancied. They started to get drunk. I didn’t. I was too scared. He made me get drunk. Next day, he told me he’d slept with her and that his friend had wanted me but couldn’t do it as I was out drunk but he’d sell me to a prostitute ring if I ever slept with anyone else.
I was scared for my life and believed him when he told me he’d kill me if I ever left, but I also knew I couldn’t live my life like this as I’d either kill myself, or he’d kill me. So I read up on domestic violence in secret and kept a diary of every time he hit me or verbally abused me so I couldn’t tell myself it never happened. It took a further year to finally leave him and I am very proud of myself for finally leaving, no matter how long it took.
This is a typical story:
I was an accident and my parents ignored me all my life and desperate for attention, I slept with boys who gave me drugs. When I turned 16, things changed as there was a death in the family. That’s roughly when I started dating a guy who was into BDSM, he gave me marijuana which I had been smoking for some time. He liked to have it a little rougher. We started visiting a local BDSM dungeon where he would tie me up and whip me or spank me. In the beginning, I thought it was weird, but it was something to do and Steve really seemed to like me. Plus, I was stoned most of the time and barely felt anything. I wouldn’t say I was his girlfriend or anything serious like that. He was just a guy I frequently saw, but then things developed into more or a relationship One day, the dungeon master became furious when he saw weeds and pills in my partner’s bags and expelled and banned him. About that time, I got a job working for a local cafe bar. I stayed with Steve as a boyfriend (he had a bedroom in a shared flat in the annex and therefore noise didn’t transmit too well, although I was living at home. Gradually outside the confines and control of the dungeon he got more extreme and I found I was into this. One day he strangled me so I passed out and work to find him having sex me, this became a regular thing. I was under 18 at the time. He got more bizarre, I woke up after one strangulation to find a bottle up my vagina with him using it like a dildo and when I said it hurt he held me down and tried to break the bottle inside me. I got it out and he banged my head against the wall until I was knocked out and I work to him having sex with me again. My head was bleeding and I can still today feel the damage in my head.
I left Steve and when he turned up at home, I told him if he contacted me again, I’d call the police and explain that he’d tried to kill me and let them see my head. I never heard from him again, but the downside was that I started self-harm, cutting myself.
I went back to the BDSM club one day when I was stoned. I met a few people. I can’t say I had ever presented myself before and felt accepted by them. A few weeks later, I began returning alone regularly, if only to feel welcomed somewhere. I had dropped out of high school by then and didn’t know anything about anything. I couldn’t do the laundry, I couldn’t really cook, I couldn’t talk politely enough to work anywhere. I simply was a reject of society, a complete wreck. I couldn’t see that soon enough I would most likely be left alone on the streets by my mother to become either a prostitute or yet another homeless girl begging for change. It was then that I met Peter. Peter was one of the masters visiting the dungeon, single but he wanted a full time slave girl to live with him. He gave classes on bondage and safety in BDSM and helped a lot of people, but he didn’t want a girl to play from time to time, he wanted a full time slave to keep in his loft in a committed relationship. He paid a lot of attention to me when I was there alone. He did a lot of bondage demonstrations using me as a model and even practiced his suspensions on me which I kind of liked. I had stopped seeing my ex since he had been banned and I was cut off from my supply of both drugs and sex so I began to open to him and one day, after he proposed for the 40th time or so to have me as a slave full time, I simply said yes.
I didn’t know what I was getting into, but I didn’t care. I had nothing in front of me and my mother hadn’t spoken to me in weeks. I left with him to reach his loft. It’s in an old industrial building. It’s a unit in the middle, without windows or interior walls. It only has a small kitchenette in one of the corners and a small industrial bathroom: there was a man’s restroom with a urinal and a booth for a toilet, but the toilet in the woman’s section had been replaced by a shower. The rest of the loft was occupied mostly by home-made bondage equipment, apart for a king size bed.
He told me that I could leave anytime I wanted by saying my safe-word “Jellicle” but that until then, I wouldn’t be allowed to leave his loft unless I needed to see a doctor. We went over my limits but I am not sure I was really sure of what I was getting into, I mostly checked no on his list on a few things I was scared of such as branding and needles or tattoos. My motivation was mostly to live somewhere with someone who would care for me and Peter was the closest I could find. We went to my house so I could pick up my things and say goodbye to my mother who was obviously unconcerned that I was moving away.
Peter asked me to strip naked, and I ended up not wearing anything until the day I decided it was enough, 16 months later, although I did wear panties during my periods, but otherwise, I was fully naked around the clock, for more than a year. One of the first things he did was get rid of all calendars and clocks in the house, keeping only his watch and his cellphone for any time references. He didn’t have a computer or a TV or even a radio so even if I wanted to know the time or the date when he was away at work, it was impossible. He didn’t even have a phone at home, using only his cellphone for communications.
At first, our relationship was like most other couples in that we engaged in conversation, had lots of sex with the added kinkiness of me being suspended or tied or even whipped from time to time. Quickly, as time went by however, it was expected that I would behave more and more like a slave and with less and less freedom of will. He was slowly helping me let go of my resistance to obedience, as he said it. Gradually, I began to enjoy it. When he was there, he would train me in doing whatever he wanted me to do, including cooking, cleaning the loft or servicing him sexually. When he wasn’t there, I was left instructions on what to do, like meditation or even just stretching exercises. Rapidly, I lost track of time and Peter insisted that this was his goal. He wanted me to fully rely on him for all information. I realized that sometimes, a Wednesday would follow a Thursday, but I was expected to just accept it and soon enough, I stopped asking or caring about which day we were.
Now, I realize he was almost brainwashing me, but like my mother, I didn’t see any alternatives. I was warm, I was secure, I was loved and unlike her, the few times I was hit I actually welcomed and enjoyed it as it was usually followed by some of the best sex I ever had and I was hit as part of BDSM. Several times, he invited friends over and no, I was not allowed to dress back up. Most of the people were friends I knew from the dungeon, but I was usually expected to play a certain role, like remain silent for the evening and simply serve food for everything or even just remain on all four and serve as a human footrest for the whole evening. I was asked to service them but it was always discussed with me first and I could use the “Red” safe word to say no without repercussions. If we were on our own, Peter didn’t use safe sex but if we were in company, he always practiced safe sex.On some occasions, I was blindfold and have no idea who was having sex with me. if it was really someone else.
Sometimes we did long term rules or roles, like a 3 week puppy play or 3 weeks of being blindfolded which was really difficult and scary. (At first, I did think to cheat while he was at work, but I remained faithful and spent the whole period blindfolded).
One day, he decided to tie me to his St Andrews cross like he often did and I just said my safe-word. I had enough. I had been forbidden to talk for the previous few months and I no longer felt good about myself like in the beginning. I had forgotten who I was, what I wanted and simply couldn’t take it anymore.
He confirmed that was what I wanted and brought me some of my clothes, I had lost quite a lot of weight under his care. I didn’t know the date and was 6 months out and I had just missed my birthday without realising it. Whilst I though it was summer, it was deep winter, snow and We found my mother but I discovered she didn’t even care where I had been or that we hadn’t spoken for that long. The three of us ate supper without even speaking a word, so I asked Peter if I could stay with him for a while not as his slave. I moved into his one bedroom flat and often slept with him but othertimes on the couch. We did even did a little BDSM play but we were back to the talking phase we had in the beginning. We spoke a lot about what I had gone through and I shared all my thoughts and emotions. He apologized for the last part where he asked me to stay silent for so long. He mostly wanted to be sure he didn’t somehow break me or traumatize me. He tried to convince me to try it again, but it was behind me now. I had others things to do even if I had no idea what.
Two months after I said my safe-word, I found a job in a burger joint, not a big chain but a mom and pop store where I was a waitress serving greasy burgers.
I moved out 3 months later and Peter paid the deposit on my flat and helped me find a small apartment and even paid for the first few months to help me get on track, helping me to find used furniture and even all of the appliances. He was busy finding my replacement and when he did, he stopped calling me completely. I got a job at a better restaurant and eventually made a new boyfriend, a regular customer, and I am now the receptionist for the office he works for.
Helen’s Story – A first meeting
Alright, so you have been chatting online with a prospective Dom for a while and its time for a meet ……Now it gets real, really fast…..so what should you expect?
Your brain is racing, you ask yourself, “Am I really going to meet a strange man and submit to him baring my bottom and spanking me and more? Oh my God what am I getting into? There are a lot of crazies on the loose, am I nuts?”
You’ve clearly thought about this and it’s something you want to explore …….The answer is “No, you’re only nuts if you’re not cautious!”.
At the Meeting
This is the account of Anna (25) and written by her. (I’ve not edited it).
He told me that I was going to be inspected, trained and my boundaries tested to discover where my threshold for obedience, submission and for pain is. The classic Dominant/Submissive scene.
The dungeon was just off a very busy market and was a converted wine cellar. I buzzed the door which had a CCTV and was let in. I knew that immediately next to the door was a set of stairs and I had been told to go to the bottom of the stairs where I should get into the clothes instructed. I’d travelled on public transport and had a small bag to change.
I was then told to put on the blindfold and knock on the door once changed.
As I picked up the blindfold I almost ran out, but that would have meant running out in a very short old silk skirt and stockings and bra which was probably less safe than staying (ha! ha!) I put on the blindfold and was already trembling, a mix of fear and excitement.
I felt for the door and knocked. I took a deep trembling breath.
His voice gave instant assurance and control …..and doubled the fear. He clearly knew he was now in charge.
“Put both your hands out in front of you.”
“Once I have them step forwards two steps then turn left”
I did so.
Firm hands took my arms.
I could not see where I was going with the blindfold.
I was led down a short stuffy corridor and through a curtain. The next room was airy and also slightly colder. I felt my nipples react.
My hands were pulled together and handcuffed. My arms were hoisted. “Hell! What comes next” I thought.
I was again wrongfooted. I was simply undressed ever so gently and ever so slowly. It was clear that he was relishing my body. It seemed like ages between touches
At times I could feel his breath on my skin, so close was his head to me.
“I want to check the safewords” and he ran through how they would work. I would keep the blindfold on all session and misuse of the Red word would instantly mean I would be dressed in my outside clothes taken to the door and unblindfolded and the session end.
As a Dom he was be instantly commanding and intense. He kept me permanently off my guard.
Once inspected, I was naked completely. The handcuffs came off. It was explained that I was submitting to him and he didn’t therefore need them.
He told me to kneel down and open my mouth which I did.
Something was thrust into my mouth …… not what I expected,
“DON’T DROP IT”
I knelt there for what seemed like an eternity naked,
5 minutes later I was still naked except for a dog collar and a leash which he commanded me to put on.
He instructed me to put my hands behind my head, while on my knees, legs apart, mouth open, and back arched.
Then I felt the flogger, but what I g0t was the most erotic massage and then I was introduced to the flogger ever so gently. Then he flogged me all over my body. Hardly any pain ….apparently deliberately at this stage, just to see if I would object.
He stood close behind me so I could lean against him as he breathed into my hair and neck, which served to calm me between the beatings (and massively turn me on). Calling it erotic is an understatement.
He felt how wet I was.
He ran his fingers in and out and around my open mouth six times.
He had me in total control.
I cannot describe how hot all of this was. I was naked and vulnerable to this complete stranger.
I thought he’d be telling me what to do immediately in the first session, but he went though the hard and soft limit questionnaire, pulling my leg all the time …. putting me at ease …..he had more questions and it seemed as if he could tell instantly if I was lying or hesitating about answering ..how I don’t know, but it was as if he was reading my thoughts.
At one stage, I needed to pee and said so, but because I’d not asked correctly, he made me use a potty, which was so horny.
The session went on for another hour or so, but what happened then is private, you can use your imagination.(Also I don’t want to ruin it for you if you’re going to try it)
I was allowed a shower, and to dress in leaving clothes, but I had to emerge still with the blindfold on. We sat and chatted about my experience for about 20 minutes with him feeding me fruit whilst blindfolded (very erotic). We arranged the next meeting and I left not seeing him at all.
Soon after it was over, many emotions surfaced. But, what surprised me most were the insights this experience gave me about myself. I was his instrument and he was playing a new tune with my body. After the session, he gave me a homework assignment: “Write up the things you learned and what you think you didn’t and what you enjoy most and what you didn’t.
He also said to call him when the emotions hit and I did.
My advice is don’t be too eager to try everything and don’t expect it to meet your fantasy unless you’ve explained it in detail to Master – he’s not a mindreader. A Good Dom will condition you to be patient and leave you wanting more.
Master told me that learning to be truly submissive in sex takes time and commitment. It means agreeing (and sticking to it) that you don’t even masterbate without Master’s express permission. I called him three times that night to ask to masterbate, I was so horny.
Master said that I should expect at least 8 sessions before it becomes fully effective and true to his prediction it was only after abut 8 sessions that Master was truly able to command my sexuality, to command my sexual thoughts etc – that time he said come and I did almost instantly.
Pain = Pleasure.
I didn’t know how true this was.
You can’t understand it logically or understand it until you really feel pain.
Trusting that I could recover quickly is the thing I struggled with but found to be true. What caught me was how quickly I wanted more.
Whilst I jumped and yelped at the intensifying flogging and the violet wand, later that night and the next day I just keep thinking about what a pussy I was- I so wanted more straight away. I just kept wanting more too and more of the painful stuff.
Once this rather animal desire for more clicked in, I could see a clearer way down the BDSM path than before and knew I would do this again. This is a thing to discover in stages, however. It is intense – A different kind of touch.
It can be hard, loud and therefore scary, but parts of it are amazingly soft. The most intimate moments were when he was right behind me, leaning his body into mine, while standing, after being freshly flogged. And he breathed into the back of my head, slightly nuzzling my hair. That alone got me so hot yet made me feel comforted. As someone who enjoys being throat fucked and vigorously finger-banged, this subtle move was a delightful shocker.
Anonymity is hot.
I never saw him. As part of the safety protocol I knew who he was but I never saw him in the dungeon and left without seeing him. It was 4 months of regular sessions either weekly or fortnightly and usually weekly before I saw him, even though by then I knew every inch of his body, and that was only a glimpse by accident
I asked him if we could meet for breakfast before coming to the dungeon on the next occasion and he said this would “break the scene”. He asked me if I was “… sure you wouldn’t rather keep the mystery?”. Upon further consideration, I realized I really didn’t want to know more, at least for now.
I realised it was delicious to have a seemingly safe way to compartmentalize extremely deviant behaviour with a man much older than me and in fact older than my father.
There was something really freeing and fantastical about that.
Don’t be Afraid (and be afraid) to Ask for what you really want (or don’t want).
Clear, concise communication is required for the BDSM dynamic to work, as well as thinking and responding quickly.
I soon learned to keep my mouth shut because I’d say something without thinking and find out it was done to me.
For example I said one day about session 6, that I’d fantasised about two men double penetration (arse and pussy) and he asked if it was something I wanted to try. Without thinking I said “Hell, yes!” and within the hour, I actually knew what it felt like.
The same thing happened in session 8 with a gangbang (Me and my big mouth!)
I am so glad Master gave me two safe words; one that indicated it was time to slow down and the other meant to stop whatever was happening immediately. I never had to get to my second safe word.
But I do regret not asking for more, and harder more often or sometimes asking to suspend safe words. I would recommend saying “MORE” however slutty you think it makes you sound. You won’t regret it.
You can get relaxed too – Sometimes, mid-scene, I made the major faux pas of breaking into an uncontrollable giggle. I find the absurd in most things to amuse myself, and something struck me about what was going on and I had to laugh. I’d get flashbacks to porn films or normal movies where there were cliché parallels ….Master took this well , and humour became the norm. It also developed into brattyness which I (willingly) got punished for.
Also be prepared. Plan what you are going to wear in advance. Make sure you take a shower and take care of your hair and skin long before the date. Dress nicely for leaving as he’ll see that too and smell nice. It doesn’t matter what you wear, you can always look your best.
And distract yourself. Arrive in good time and sit and have a coffee and bring a book or magazine so that in the time leading up to the date you can keep yourself busy. Sitting around doing nothing will only amplify your nervousness. the experience should be fun, don’t let nerves ruin it….Maser wants you to be yourself – even if that means bratty
Have questions in mind. Having set questions in mind will calm any nervous energy you may normally experience. Avoid all cliche topics like what’s your zodiac sign.
What you are trying to achieve here is starting a new relationship, during your first meeting, it is important that both understand what each other want out of the relationship, what each hopes to gain, their expectations , and there needs. It is very important to be upfront and truthful with the new dominant, I can tell you he will not forget anything you have told him. He has a court reporter in his head, and can be read back to at anytime, be truthful, that goes for both.
Finally, if you’ve got to this stage, don’t hang around or you’ll talk and talk and then lose momentum. If you’ve decided you like what you hear and you’ve identified his real ID, and he passes the test of a proper Dom then go for it!!!
Read Rules 1 to 9 for your own safety
Rule 1 – Never your house or his!
Always meet at a public place for a first meeting – or a public dungeon – Never ever go to his house and never ever bring him to your house for the first meeting.
If he’s using a public dungeon (i.e. not his own) , its safer than a hotel because there’s a known history, they’ll have asked for his ID and credit card and he’ll be known to them and they know he’s safe otherwise they would risk it, because a scandal would close the dungeon,.
Rule 2 – Is he real?
Does he have a pro-dom website …and when was the domain registered?
If the domain wasn’t registered at least 10 years ago, you’re probably dealing with a newby, a pretend Dom or at least one with little experience.
Rule 3 – Alcohol at the meeting – a warning flag.
It’s one thing to be offered a glass of champagne, it’s another to be offered many glasses of it. There’s nothing wrong with having a drink before you go to take off the edge of nerves, but ONE ONLY. (You also don’t want to arrive smelling of booze!).
Rule 3(b) Water, Fruit and Nuts at the meeting – a good sign
Its a good sign and means he’s thought about your blood sugar.
Rule 4 – Your transport or public transport
Always drive your own car or go on public transport. In the UK, never, ever, go in his car on the first meeting unless you’ve checked him out really thoroughly and you can trace him to a real life ID which you’ve left in a sealed envelope at your house (preferably marked “open only on my death or on my disappearance for at last 24 hours”). If you’re in the USA or continental Europe, his car is a definite no-no. (The UK has more road-based CCTV than you can imagine).
Rule 5:- Meeting Safely
Many people say that you should “Arrange for a friend to call you at a certain time on your mobile phone just to make sure you are ok” but there are at least 2 flaws in this:
a) If you’re in a dungeon, your mobile may not work and you don’t want to start a panic;
b) it’s too late by then if you’ve met a nutter;
c) The system requires your friends to know what to tell the police etc and that means disclosing to them what you’re doing and where,
If you’re using the call system, what happens if your friend is busy or in the underground etc – arrange a KIK codeword – use KiK and you can see when its been delivered …….any sane Dom will allow you a time out to send the codeword, even if he supervises it as part of your training and submission. Arrange the Codeword to be sent at a particular time and make sure you’re not late, but do it in the first 10 minutes before the scene really gets underway – you’ll know by then whether he’s genuine.
Nothing beats the safety of checking him out really thoroughly and tracing him to a real life ID which you’ve left in a sealed envelope at your house (preferably marked “open only on my death or on my disappearance for at last 24 hours”, so you parents or friends don’t open it if you’re an hour late home or just in curiosity )…..and destroy it when you arrive safely back.
Rule 6: Safe Words
…This is a tricky one. When I was doing sessions, it was always for real misbehaviours, not role play, the easy ones are green, yellow, and red. In later play you can vary these.
Rule 7: Background checks
I think it is ok for you to do a background check on him however, he may not want to give his real name when you first meet. Its a good sign if he does but don’t abuse it.
This does not need to be a deal breaker but if he does, you’re on relatively safe ground.
Trust me, there are a lot of female maniacs out there too, so don’t trust him just because he’d bringing another female
Use your best judgment and follow your gut. If he can get into your head when online, he’ll be able to do it in the dungeon and that means fun, especially if you can check out his real ID.
Rule 8: Body Safety:
No wood implements unless you’re sure he’s experienced – you may love a paddle or even a cane, but if he has no experience or skill, you can get seriously hurt!
If he’s a pro-dom then you have no worries.
A good Dom will in any event start with his hand. His hand will not damage you, even if he spanks as hard as I do, but you have to know that he can control you and make you submit with his hand first.
Rule 8: Dress.
If he is for real, he will probably tell you what he wants you to wear.
Alternatively he may want you to bring clothes to get changed into if you need to travel in public transport.
(Many Doms say no pants, but it is still acceptable to insist on a thong if going full bare bottomed is just too scary for you on a first meeting). He’ll probably remove it anyway.
Rule 9: After care.
If he is not caring, and willing to talk to you about how you are feeling right from the start, forget him. He is just a wanna-be.
A Doms main concern in a session is the safety of the sub – YOU – , both physically and emotionally. Obviously the spanking will hurt. It’s meant to, and you may cry, and you may mark. Thats fine (and the marks wont last long).
But you must not be ignored after. Corner time is allowed but you must be comforted after. He should discuss this before you start and although you’re free to leave when YOU want to, you should both agree that you can end the session at any time, but then you’ll talk for a few minutes and he’ll offer you after-care ..if he is not insisting on offering after care you need to move on. After care is essential – you’ll get emotional reactions after the session.
This should also include a followup call, both that day and the next. The next day can by by email or message, but the call that day is always better by voice……and however disastrous you thought it was, it is good to talk it though.
A good Dom will want to know that she’s home safely and not standing on a bridge somewhere, having had a melt-down. If he does not contact you by the next day, forget him.
Master Xoobs has been a Dungeon Master (Dom) for many years and can often be found lurking in the dark corners of one of the staggering number of commercial dungeons around London brandishing all manner of terrifying looking devices.
When he’s feeling more benevolent he’s inhabiting hotels or private houses or hosting private bdsm events.
He was the author in the 1990s of a number of books on Subspace & Aftercare and the psychological well-being of the Submissive as well as Submissive and Slave Boundaries and a guide to Submissive psychology and has assisted a number of Submissives in recovery following botched or abusive behaviour by other so-called Masters. He is also trained in psychology and trauma-led psychological recovery so your mind is also safe with him. He was also a stage hypnotist from 1985 to 1990.
In vanilla-life, he’s fully employed – within a professional job and at a very senior level. Master Xoobs is a youthful 50, being born in the same year as England won the world cup and in his youth was a professional sportsman. (Unfortunately years of being behind a desk busy mean that he now carries a few extra pounds).
Master Xoobs is interested in Submissives or women wanting to be submissive up to 40 years old and with body sizes up to size 12, (particularly petite girls from the asian subcontinent).
If you’re new to the BDSM arena, he frequently provides a non-penetrative introduction to dungeons for beginners (although the submissive will be nude) who want an introduction to BDSM and Dungeons but aren’t yet ready for penetrative sex within that context.
Not into extreme BDSM (skin piercing, scat, bloodplay)
website:xoobs.com (ID: Fetlife PW: Fetlife)
AS YOU READ MY LIKES ETC, PLEASE BEAT IN MIND THAT I AM VERY DOMINANT AND THEREFORE LIKES SUCH AS BONDAGE, CAGES, CANES MEANS ME TYING YOU UP, ME PUTTING YOU IN CAGES, ME CANING YOU etc.