BDSM Journey

For those who are curious what this involves

Hi and welcome to the first step in your Journey down the long and (hopefully) fulfilling road of BDSM Submission.

So what does this entail?
Firstly don’t be put off by the BDSM logo….yes it means  Bondage, Discipline/Domination, Sadism, and Masochism (as a type of sexual practice) but for these purposes let’s call it Bondage, Discipline/Domination, Submission/Spanking and Mind-fucks because that’s what we offer here.

……..and it doesn’t mean that you’ll be having to hide away for 2 weeks whilst the bruising goes down. For most sessions, you could go swimming the next day and no-one would be any wiser, even if you’ve had a heavy spanking session (although if you’re into pain/pleasure boundaries, then caning may be your thing and that may mean that you want to hide your derriere (arse) for a couple of days because it will show some marks and it’ll remind you about your session when you site down).

Having mentioned the dreaded word pain, then let’s deal with this right now. Toothache is horrible – but that’s not the sort of pain I deal with at Xoobs. My pain is a transitional pain, and designed to skirt you around the endorphin barrier. If you’ve ever been in a fast car or a fairground roller coaster, you’re terrified and scared whilst at the same time, you get a buzz like almost no other experience…….and that’s down to chemicals released in your bloodstream, which are often described as the body’s natural LSD or in other words, it’s a naturally occurring chemical designed to make you high without any risk of addiction.  (In fact on the fairground ride, you’re simply scared on the first drop, and your body releases endorphins which make your brain work at high speed. By your second drop, you have these coursing around your system making you high and the second drop releases more. The roller-coaster design is designed to change the amount in your system (big drops and little drops) and you’ll be high for about 15minutes after you leave the roller-coaster. 

Your experience in the dungeon or bedroom with BDSM should be the same.  Youe subspace experience will be a state of intense excitement and happiness  induced by endorphins and which gives you the same out of body spiritual experience that people got in the 1960s and 1970s taking LSD – but without the underlying addiction

Click here for more about pain and pleasure threshold and Sub-Space]

Sub-Space is a state of euphoria (a feeling or state of intense excitement and happiness) which is induced by endorphins released from exercise and from mild pain (yes mild! pain). 

When a scene first starts, as a submissive you’ll have there are no endorphins in your system and even mild spanking will be very stingy and frankly painful but fortunately, the body’s reserve endorphin load is released after just a few minutes of even relatively mild stimulation building to a mild climax, and suddenly it’s a different story.  It won’t sting and it’ll be mildly pleasurable and kinky – Yes you’re in Level One of subspace. 

With a mild amount of play over the next 10 minutes, – usually enough for a little intense whack every so often, about a minute apart,  – with  an increase over a five-minute span, and finishing off with 10 seconds to a minute of a very intense, over-the-edge push, and you’ll you’ll get another hit of endorphins. This is Subspace Level 3 and you’ll feel like you do after a few drinks, very relaxed and slightly woozy and you’re just now entering true sub-space

The 5-7 minute breaks are great for introducing subs to other dungeon equipment with the sure knowledge that they’re going back to the spanking area pretty quickly. For subs with a bratty tendency, there is often a refusal to go back when the Master will drag them back there and administer due punishment – usually resulting in the climax that triggers the sought after adrenalin.

Again, applying ten minutes of any relatively mild stimulation followed by a five-minute build and a 10- to 15-second intense climax well beyond the previous one, you will release the next endorphin load. As a sub you’ll enter true sub-space – a very nice Level Four head space when there is a very definite altered state of consciousness where you’re compliant and want to let out your true submissive. You’ll be hypersensitive, but your body now can’t distinguish between pain and pleasure so interprets everything as pleasure…….and a lot of it, wave after wave.

At the early stages of play sessions, Level 4 is as far as it is safe to go. In time, Level 5 can be extended and extended into hours of ecstasy, [Extended Play] but since a subspace Level 5 removes any intense feelings of pain, a submissive may ask their partner to hurt them beyond their complete understanding which can result in injury……. so it’s only for the experiences Master with years of experience. For beginners, it’s now time to wrap up the session … wrap her in a warm blanket and enter After-Care [Aftercare]  and [Aftercare]

Why do I go on and on about the aftercare? The work of putting endorphins into the subject’s body is finished, right? Well, yes, but you have also succeeded in putting very, very large amounts of adrenaline into her system ……. and adrenaline is tricky stuff. Even at Level Four, there’s enough adrenalin to burn off for at least 10 to 20 minutes and the sub will suffer a number of adrenaline crashes [Adrenalin Crash], which are intense and even quite frightening and when body temperature isn’t controllable (and we’ve all seen this with victims of severe shock) – keep her warm, held and comforted and if you don’t care enough for the bottom to cuddle and caress them for up to half an hour, you probably shouldn’t be taking them past Level 2 or playing with them at all. She may even want to leave…..and the Dominant must be very firm about this. 

Uncontrolled sub-drop (coming down from sub-space in an uncontrolled manner), results in mood swings which are intense and even quite frightening and when body temperature isn’t controllable (and we’ve all seen this with victims of severe shock) – keep her warm, held and comforted and if you don’t care enough for the bottom to cuddle and caress them for up to half an hour, you probably shouldn’t be taking them past Level 2 or playing with them at all. She may even want to leave…..and the Dominant must be very firm about this. 

So what is sub-space like?
The sympathetic nervous system responds to BDSM because of the typical inclusion of pain and pleasure. A release of the natural chemicals epinephrine, endorphins, and enkephalins contribute to drug inducing emotions. These chemicals are a part of the fight or flight response which stimulates a morphine-like result. As a submissive, the chemicals increase pain tolerance, creating a floating feeling when pain is introduced. For many, a subspace creates a drunk or high feeling — pain is gone, problems disappear, and your current state of mind is a dizzy of joyful feelings.Imagine an out-of-body experience — that’s a subspace. For some individuals, getting into a subspace won’t take much pain or physical stimulation, while it may take others much longer. When your partner becomes less verbal, this is typically the number one sign that your sub has reached a level of subspace. Some are completely unable to speak and move or can be feral and uncontrolled, some weep because of the amount of energy and euphoria experienced. 

Aftercare Instructions

Master should  holding the sub and letting her hug you back and should  comfort her and tell her to relax. She is compliant, docile and open to receiving instructions at this point, she will also tense up again from the adrenaline. Keep reminding her to relax.

As the bottom begins to relax after a while, She may experience a frightening “falling off a cliff” feeling that makes her tense again, or “blackness” as the endorphins relax the optic nerve. This is a side effect of the chemicals burning off. The Master’s  job is to reassure the sub that these experiences are completely normal, to let go and pass through it. The sub  has to relax through the sensation of falling or blackness with the understanding that this is quite normal and is a common experience. Once she does that, having “relaxed through it,” she will be “in it” after that point, and will relax deeply, often seeing beautiful technicolor visions and dreamlike landscapes, spaces, and places. 


There is another factor that can produce an altered state of consciousness far, far beyond even that of the most extreme endorphin experience. This is experienced by submissives whose intense focus upon their Master or Mistress (their Dominant) – and upon pleasing them – eventually leads to a hallucinogenic kind of altered state known commonly in the BDSM community as “flying.” This word has an almost mythological aura in the scene for very good reasons! It is probably the most profound experience one can have as a submissive. 

So what will I be introduced to?

The spanking bench is the centre of any dungeon, but it may not actually be a spanking bench. There  are a variety of these and other ways to tie you up, but all effectively put you in the same set of positions.

Go to Part 2